“I have sea foam in my veins,
for I understand
the language of waves.”
~ Le Testament d’Orphee
Reading these verses helps me understand why I keep myself far away from the sea and the ocean. I know if I am close to the sea I will just surrender, I will not be able to take so much water without feeling disturbed.
And so it happens with certain energies. There is no grey shade, either I keep them flowing like a roaring river or I keep them buried under peaceful graves.
It should not amaze me, but it does. When you think everything is quiet and running smoothly and you are making your way out of the darkness, when you are seeking for light and healing and you even dream of ancient voices taking care of your wounds, then it happens. The river, the grave, the feelings which were thought to be dead and the connection which was thought not to work anymore, burst altogether into burning lava.
I know the rules, if you try to align your chakras and if you dance to the moon, all the hidden secrets will wake up and look into your eyes. There is no possible clearing if all sources are not open and alive.
Therefore, Mother Mercy, nothing have I learnt, for my heart longs for a soul not ready to shine under the sun of love. It is just so hard to take when you have so much to give and there’s no one willing to receive.
Once again, there is the trick, I start to believe the Goddess can live in me, I find my path to light and forgiveness, I reach peace and harmony and smile at all what I am but your name knocks at all the locked doors and I become a mess in the blink of an eye.
May 7th, 2013